Last week at camp a little girl camr up to me and said, Ms. Colleen how come my mommy doesn’t love me like you love me? How do I respond to that? How do I explain to her that maybe her mom just doesn’t know how to love her right now, or that maybe she does love her but isn’t good at showing it?

Last night as I drove home from MetroKidz I called a friend and I just burst into tears, it has been a long hard week, watching a young man die, literally beaten to death, and seeing a police officer hit another call and send it flipping, probably had my emotions in an uproar. I cried about the kids who go home to “empty” homes, you know the homes where a parent is available but not really available, or maybe they are the parent and have to go home and take care of their siblings.

I cried for the kids who told me a couple of weeks ago, that nothing happened in the neighborhood, when a shooting happened it was “just another shooting;” I cried for the kids who are teenagers who think the only way for them is to deal drugs and hustle on the corner, I cried for kids who think that the best way to find love is to join a gang or become a prostitute.

Today I am asking you to join me in prayer for these kids, their circumstances and to touch the hearts of people.

As we stood at the last site this morning Ms. Jamie (a loved one) of one of the victims at the site we stood at, for a few minutes she just stood back and observed what we were doing.  Then she walked away, came back and said to Matt and I thank you for what ya’ll are doing. I told her we were about to pray and invited her into our circle, that’s when she told us that her “homeboy” was one of the young men who were recently murdered. She said I watched you guys up on Frederick Ave. and followed you down here to see what you’re doing. She stood in the circle and listened to us beg for God to protect the neighborhood, as we asked for Satans hands to be bound in this neighborhood, and we begged for Hope to prevail. As we were about to close prayer Ms. Jamie spoke up and prayed one of the most powerful prayers, I have ever heard, she prayed blessings over us, she prayed for safety and protection, she prayed a prayer of Thanksgiving for us.

As we were finishing up, the front door of a home opened and the most precious little lady stepped out and in her hand she held the photo book that was handed out at the funeral of one of the young men gunned down and it was her grandson. She had no tears, only heartache that could have been felt for miles away. She told us that her grandson was in the neighborhood because she asked him to come visit her and he did. She didn’t want any prayer, but allowed us to love and hug her. She needed to be loved this morning, she wanted to share her story.

I have done the murder walk probably 10-15 times in the past year to year and a half and this is the most powerful walk I have been on, they have all been different, they have all been awesome, but to stand a the site of a recent murder and link arms with a “victim” and holding her.

This walk was exactly what this team needed, it was a reality check, it was a moment for their team to become more unified and it was a time for them to love a team member in a moment of reality. I spent some time thanking God this afternoon for that moment and pray for more moments like this through out the week!

MetroKidz is aplace where neighborhood kids find hope and a place where they are encouraged to dream BIG and live out those big dreams!

k my routine drive through the neighborhood, I saw the corner boys pushing their drugs, I saw the hooker waiting for the next monger, I saw some of my kids walking to school, I saw the mommy who doesn’t know where her kids are going to get their next meal from, I saw the daddy who is so drunk he can’t keep a job, and then I saw something that not many other see…I saw hope, I saw light, I saw love…I also saw desperation, I saw need, I saw desires.

Each day as I drive through the neighborhood, I have a loop, I check on all my corner boys, they know me now and wave at me, it’s not the normal, “Pull around the corner and I’ll bring your goods wave,” it’s the “Oh Ms. Colleen good morning wave and a smile.” Then I drive up and check on one of my many girls who hang on the corner, waiting for their next “date” and sometimes I get a smile and a nod, other times I get a glare because I am blowing up their spot, then I travel down most ever block in the neighborhood, until I’ve made a big loop back to where I started from.

Each of these blocks offer something different, Harmison is filled with the laughter and squeals of beautiful children, Ramsay has a police officer on watch 24/7, Pulaski and Pratt are main roads through the city, so there is a typically a lot of traffic, Pulaski and Hollins, there is a memorial of two murder victims, Payson is bustling with people rushing to get to where ever they may be going and Bentalou, is the quietest street in the neighborhood, but each block screams hope…there is hope for those children on Harmison, there is hope for the families on Ramsay, there is hope for the families of the recent murder victims, there is hope for the girls on the corner, there is hope for the corner boys and that Hope comes from Jesus Christ.

The thought of hope made me think of some verses, some I have shared with a few of the corner boys, the girls on the corner and the mommy who needs some hope in her life:

Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Romans 8:31
If God is for us, who can ever be against us?

Psalm 34:18

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Deuteronomy 31:6

…the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

My hope is this weekend, this community will see Hope, they will feel Love and they will experience the Love of Jesus in a way in which they never have. I pray that the volunteers who come to serve our community with us, whether they’ve ever been here or not will understand the impact they are going to have, I pray that they come prepared to greet each person with the Love of Christ, that they come ready and prepared to share their story. Something I have really been sitting on the past couple of months is that EVERYONE has a story, it might a happy story, it might be a sad story, it might be a hard story, a story of disappointment, a story of love, or a story of hope, maybe your story has a happy ending, a tragic ending, or doesn’t have an ending yet…regardless of what your story is, and how it ends, it’s been created to tell…I hope we’ll not only come prepared to share their story but to listen and relish in the stories they are going to hear.

This weekend is one of the biggest outreaches we’ll do in our community all year…I am so excited to see the ways God is going to work this weekend, I am so excited to see Love and Hope displayed this weekend!

Ministry to the Street and Club Girls:

I am not going to lie, waiting on Him is something I find very difficult, I want things to happen when I want them to happen, and well that’s when God gets a good laugh, because that’s just not how he does things. A few months ago God gave me this huge burden for street girls (prostitutes) and club scene girls, I ran with the feelings God gave me and didn’t get too far before I was feeling like I should wait, that even though he gave me this rouse in my heart, I needed to be patient and let Him continue to work out the details for me.

I’ve had the opportunity to meet some pretty special girls, one of them, I hope one day will share her story her on my blog, but for right now I just have to tell you, that watching the changes that have taken place in her life over the past few months have truly been miracles of God. She’s getting the opportunity to watch her little one grow up, she’s enjoying being a mom, a daughter and a friend again explore careers choice and even go back to school. I am more proud of her than she will ever know.  I am excited that I get to watch these miracles take place in her life, and even more excited that she has a story that will help other girls get out of their situations.

God has been sending girls my direction, and I have had the opportunity to love them, hold them, encourage them, pray with them, cry with them, hold them tight while they came off a drug binge or a night of dancing or sexing, share my favorite bible verses with them and even tell them that there is a Love greater than the man who’s paying for their high that night. Some of these girls are talented artists, most of them are mommies, some of them don’t believe there is anything better for them and some of them are ready to run the other direction. These girls are broken and beautiful and often times can’t figure out the best way to get out of their situations, most of them come from abused pasts, some of them just need a hand to hold or a heart to love them. I don’t have all the answers for them, I don’t even begin to pretend, I don’t even have a place for them to go right now, but what I do have is a willing heart to listen, love and help them, and the Love of Jesus to share with them.

I pray every day that God will put the right person in my path, who will see that my love for these girls is deeper than my emotions, that my burden for them is serious, and that daily these girls are loosing their lives, physically and emotionally and they need a safe place to go. I have no shame in telling you that I am praying for someone to donate a house, that we can transform into a place of hope for these girls, a home of God, a home of Love and a place where they can find the true meaning of love and life. A place where they can succeed and even fail sometimes.

I am so excited about the opportunities that God is going to present with this ministry and for these girls. I am headed in a few minutes to meet some former street and club girls, who have a heart and a desire to reach out to these girls. God is really aligning everything up for me.

MetroKidz:

God is constantly working miracles in this ministry. It’s awesome to see the kids He’s sending our way, sometimes it’s a little overwhelming, but to see the kids getting so excited about Jesus, and to hear them review prior weeks and see that things are clicking and they are remembering stories about Jesus is so refreshing.

Also the new ministry he’s started using two talented drummers, using their gifts to teach kids and give them hope has been growing. The boys who are coming LOVE IT, so much they stop me at school and tell me how much fun they have. I am so glad is pulling people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to use their gifts for His Glory. I love how the kids didn’t even know Mercy until a few weeks ago and  I am hearing his name at school and about how great he is.

I am excited the kids have something positive to be excited for and something to work towards. I am also excited to watch our Friday night teen program potentially build this summer. I am praying for God to send some awesome men of God forward to reach out to our boys, Pastor Mike is awesome but he can’t do it all, and right now the boys are in a place that they need a youth leader than can make them his ministry. So again, I have no shame in telling you that I am praying for God to send a Man of God (preferably African American, but white works too (haha)!) that can love these boys and disciple them into young men of God.

I pray for someone that will take my spot out talking to the corner boys, who will be able to invest more into them than I could ever dream. While I am thankful for the opportunity, God has my heart in coordinating a program, working on building up my leaders and working with the girls from the street.

Most of all my prayer is of thankfulness, for what God has already provided to me, a team of leaders who are willing to learn, succeed, fail and love beyond measure, a ministry I prayed for, for almost five years and group of prayer partners that can’t be beat!

I love you guys!

I don’t doubt that for some of these kids, I am the nicest person they know, but what breaks my heart is that they are thinking about who they’d want to live with if  they got taken away from their parents. That they are thinking about getting taken away from their homes, that they are concerned that CPS is going to get called on their parents. This is heart wrenching, do you or I even know what it feels like to worry about having to go into CPS custody? I am begging you to pray for these kids tonight, calm their hearts, pray for deliverance for their parents, pray for protection over their homes, pray for God to be used in mighty ways in their lives so that they can reach their parents.

Our float in the MLK day parade was awesome, it was so cool to see such unity happening in our city, did you know that Baltimore’s MLK day parade is one of the largest in the nation? It was such a good opportunity for us to show unity and share our message of hope. I have gotten about 15 phone calls just this afternoon, from people wanting to know how to get their kids involved in MetroKidz, I am so excited about the opportunities God is providing for us to get our name out their, get our vision out their, and let people see how this is a place for Kids to dream, and chase after their dreams.

Speaking of opportunities I am excited about the opportunity I am being given to host a silent prayer movement called God Belongs in My City Baltimore on Saturday March 6th. We’ve been praying for at least 500 people to join us in this Prayer Movement through Baltimore City, it will give us a chance to unite as Christians and stand together declaring our faith. It’ll give us an opportunity to move through the city, praying for God’s Hands and Love to take over this city, we’ll pray through the Inner Harbor to City hall and back. We’ll ask God for protection, vision and strength to take over this city in His name. I am praying for the hearts of the people who are going to join us on this journey, I am praying for God to move in the hearts of people to get out of their seats and take a stand. If you’d like more information about God Belongs in My City Baltimore, please feel free to send me an email colleen@metrokidzbaltimore.org

Prayer Request: Tonight we’re sharing the Gospel and challenging our kids in a way we never have before.  Fifteen or so teachers will be presenting the Gospel and inviting their kids to accept Christ tonight, please pray for open hearts, no distractions (haha) and for the right words for each teacher!

Not many people understand how much I love this life of mine, how these kids are MY KIDS, they are my world and that well getting banked with a lollipop, getting yelled at, and pushed around while it’s not right it’s a part of life. I have made it my personal goal this year to visit every kids who’s on our attendance list at home, to attempt to meet their parents, to find out what their home life is like etc. Being a part of their lives at the school has been good, because I have seen a lot of parents, I have heard a lot of stories and I have seen these kids in “action” at school, while I don’t know everything and I know that knowing this “junk” about my kids is going to help us in the long run.

So now for a shameless plug, if you feel God tugging at your heart to impact some kids, you should check us out on a Wednesday night! You heart will melt as you’re loved by kids who don’t always know what love means! We’re always in need of volunteers and have something for everyone!

This is an exciting weekend for us, we’re building a float, yup that’s right we’re building a float! We’ve earned ourselves a spot in the Martin Luther King Day Parade, it’s going to be chilly and maybe even wet, but I am so excited for my kids to get to be a part of this. One of the teens said to me on Wednesday Night, “You know Miss Colleen, there ain’t many white people in the MLK day parade, you gunna stand out,” that’s right friend we are, and I couldn’t be more excited. This is a very prestigious parade in our city, and we’re honored to be a part of it. If you wanna come hang with us, or see our float in the parade here’s the info:

Parade

What: The city’s 10th-annual Martin Luther King Jr. Day Parade
When: January 18, 2010, noon
Route: Begins at Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and Eutaw St. Proceeds south on MLK to Baltimore St.

There’s been a lot going on around MetroKidz, a lot of happiness as babies are being born, a lot of saddness as we lose two amazing families to new jobs and new homes. We just lost the Neas family an awesome family of five who became our family for the last 8 months and this week we’ll lose the Gagne family another family of five, that has been on this journey with Pastor Mike since the beginning, we pray for both  of these families as they embark on new adventures and God calls them away to serve in different place, we pray that they know how much they’ve impacted our ministry and our lives.

Finally, we had our baby, his name is Drake (junior maybe), he was born on January 31, 2009 and weight 8lbs 13 oz. He’s a cute little chubby man and we just adore him. We’re praying for Sarah and Drake as they become accustom to being parents!

February: We experienced a fire together, of a family that has nothing but continues to be loyal in attending church, we began to pray for Ms. Karen and Pastor Mike as they prepared for Kidney transplants that would happen later in the year. I spent time with Ms. Karen convincing a 16 year old that abortion was not the answer, and eventually she listened.  I took three teenagers to a local police community meeting and it’s opened a few doors to a relationship with the local police department. We hosted our Second Love night a night to appreciate and love our kids in ways they don’t expect, each year is full of surprises. And for the second year in a row Abe Lincoln showed up, and the kids loved it!

March: We began booking missions teams, dreaming about the block party and I began to think about quitting my nanny job to do full-time ministry. We hosted a spring-fling on the parking lot, welcomed a new member Liz to our team and continued to grow as a team.

April: Two of our teenagers made a commitment to take a purity vow in their relationships, they came to me and told me they were ready. We shared a special dinner and took them to purchase purity rings. At least one of them is still staying strong in her vow.  This month we also found out we’d be welcoming a baby into our worlds in 9 months, it was something that was scary, happy and sad all wrapped into one.  We started Teen Nights a program for teens to come and hang out from 9-midnight two Fridays a month. It’s had it’s ups and downs, however we’ve really gotten to know some kids we may not have otherwise, and finally in April we hosted the first ever Charm City/Grace Building Bridges project that was a super success.

May: We met new friends from Nebraska, hosted MetroKidz Sunday, that rocked my socks off, We watched four of our kids go off to prom for the first time and prepared for Graduation. I experience love from my kids like never before, from being hugged in a tearful sermon, to watching them chase my car down Payson street. Ms. Karen and Pastor Mike swapped kidneys!

June: Graduation (Drake and Dray), Block Party time,  Moved our MetroKidz site, began our first ever four week long summer camp. Hosted our first missions team and I officially left my nannying gig to do full-time missions.

July: Summer camp started, the largest team we’ve ever had arrived from Michigan and was amazing. Courtney Starr hosted a screen printing class three days a week, for a select group of teens and I experienced tragedy first hand as five year old “R” got shot, just feet away from our church van. Not only did I experience tragedy, I got to experience miracles and welcome a new family into our lives through this tragedy. Friends from all over the place stepped up to help us love this little girl and this family.

August: We met friends from North Carolina, I booked an awesome trip I would anxiously await, we hosted a Teen Sports Camp, experienced love in ways we never had and ended our summer with a bang! I met “A” a prostitute my heart had fallen in love with and got to reunite her with her family. God worked out a miracle and we were able to bless our kids with supplies to go back to school. At the end of the summer, I was offered a job in the school, where I had partnered that summer to see things happen, I accepted.

September: We continued to watch “R” recover, met new friends through a new group of volunteers, continued to be blessed and continued to reach out to our community.

October: I began Operation Beautiful, with pink beads, loving women, homeless women, prostitutes, teen girls, whoever who had lost hope and the understanding that God made them beautiful. I continued to form relationships with the dealers in our neighborhood and would eventually start meeting them for Breakfast.

November: I had the opportunity to travel to Atlanta for the National Youth Workers Conference, I got to relax, meet new friends and reunite with old ones. I continued my relationships with the dealers, having Wednesday morning doughnuts with them, and allowing them to share their stories. I got to watch “A” relapse and pull herself out again and finally I got to hand over the reigns to the Thanksgiving Dinner and go on vacation!

December: God worked miracles supplying much when we had nothing, we got loved on in ways we could have never imagined this month. When Toys for Tots didn’t come through on time we were blessed with a gift that allowed us to throw another rockin’ Christmas party. Toys for Tots eventually came through and we were able to bless our community in ways we never imagined, the Santa Van, The Santa visits, the gifts that meant so much to the kids who received them and the families that made it all happen. We changed the format of our Christmas party this year and it was awesome. And Finally on the very last day of ’09 we welcomed a new life into our MetroKidz group, Drake A. Diggs was born weighing in at 8 lbs and 13oz.

This year has broke me, built me and taught me, I am so excited to see what God has in store for us in 2010!

So I thought and prayed and prayed and was like Lord what? What is it you have planned for me and these boys, that’s when it was revealed I was having doughnuts with dealers. I got up early one morning, left for work at 7:15 instead of 8 and went and bought a couple of dozen doughnut and some milk, and off I went. I couldn’t help but wonder, what on earth would these boys think of me, would they laugh at me and not take the doughnuts, would they beat me up, because they thought I might be ridiculing them?

Boy, was I ever wrong about what might happen that morning, after they realized, that no, I am not 5-0 under cover, these boys were more welcoming than most people I know. They invited me to their stoops, where they devoured two dozen doughnuts and a gallon of milk in record time. They wanted to know why I would do this, and when I told them it was simply an act of love, they smiled, I didn’t want to turn them in, I didn’t want to buy or sell them anything, in fact that morning I didn’t even really want to tell them about Jesus, I just wanted to love them like Jesus loves me. I did tell them about MetroKidz and how it was a place of hope, and they were more than welcome to come if/when they felt ready.

As the morning ended and I walked back to my car relieved, I thought to myself well I have planted the seed, someone else will come along and hopefully sow it. Little did I know that person might be me…that night one of the boys came to MetroKidz, he was well behaved, and no one knew about his lifestyle. He hugged me on the way in the door and thanked me. I smiled and my heart got really excited.

I really thought in my mind this might be a one-time affair, however these boys have different motives, they chased me down last Tuesday evening and asked if I was coming tomorrow with doughnuts, I looked at them smiled and said, I wasn’t planning too, however since you’ve asked I’ll be there. That morning tears were cried, stories were shared and one little boy who we’ll call “J” looked me in the eyes, with tears welling up and said, Miss you know my story is almost like yours except for I am a boy and you’re a girl. He said to me “I have hope today, I am getting on the bus and going to school for the first time in three weeks,” and that is exactly what he did.

On Thursday morning I boarded a plane for Atlanta, with a text message in my inbox, that said, “Miss Colleen, day 2 of going to school, can you pray for me?” I smiled to myself and tears welled up in my eyes, and I heard this “little” boys words through his text, a little boy who just wanted hope, who just wanted and need(ed)s someone to believe in him, a little boy who found his acceptance pushing drugs on a corner instead of in a school community or church.

Imagine what we could do if we all had a “J” if we all took sometime to give someone a little hope, if we all listened when God called us to be uncomfortable. Imagine if you woke up to a text message from a drug dealer who wants to change, who’s reaching out to you.

While I am not encouraging you to go stand on a corner with a prostitute, or a drug dealer (okay maybe I am), I am encouraging you to listen when God calls you to be uncomfortable. Listen when God calls you on a mission, because you’ll never know whose life you might be changing.

As we stood in this open space and prayed with Angela, God told me to give her the beads and remind her how He had made her which is Fearfully and Wonderfully, and that she was beautiful with or without the beads. In my head I argued with God because I had just bought these beads, and they went so well with the outfit I was wearing, why did He want me to give them away, and He kept pushing, give them, give them.  As I removed the beads from my neck and put them around Angela’s I got to remind her how beautiful she is with and without the beads, I got to remind her how God created her. I got to watch her eyes light up because she had jewelry.

Fast forward to several hours later, when I encountered another situation involving another young woman, who confessed to me she was contemplating suicide because things in her life, were not going as planned, she didn’t feel beautiful enough to fit in, in her high school, she felt like an outcast etc. etc. As she speaking, I felt God nudge me once again, and tell me to give away the second strand of beads. I wanted to pout and be like “Seriously God, these are brand new,” but really how selfish would that have been? So I took the beads from around my neck and handed them to her, and I said, “I feel like God is telling me to give you these beads, so that you can have a constant reminder of how Fearfully and Wonderfully made you are. I also think that when you’re not feeling beautiful you should put the beads on and remember that no matter what the world thinks God thinks you’re the most beautiful creation, because he created you this way.

Rewind, to several months ago when God started tugging at my heart about the prostitutes in the neighborhood, I felt a longing to do something for them, the first idea that popped into my head, was to buy roses and explain to them the symbolism between the rose and them, which was beauty and delicateness. But I kept wondering how a rose could symbolize beauty if it died within a couple of day. So as I sat at my desk, in my office one Tuesday afternoon, I had an aha moment, and realized God was speaking to me about the beads. Why couldn’t I buy a ton of two for $5 beads and use them for a ministry?

That’s where Operation Beautiful was born, I could use the beads to give to the prostitutes to remind them, of how beautiful they are, and about how God has created them in His image, and thought that even though man thought they were pieces of meat for sale on a street corner He thinks that they are the most beautiful women on Earth, because he created them. It also opens up a door for me to be able to share with these women about Jesus, who He is and what He’s called me to do with my life, which is love people like them.

I can’t tell you how many strands of beads I have given out since the end of September, I can’t tell you how many women I’ve gotten to remind of their beauty, and how God knew just what He was doing when he created them. It’s gone beyond, a prostitute on a street corner, to the homeless woman in Fell’s Point, to the teen girl who wants to commit suicide to the grandmother who feels lost and hopeless.

If you’d like to know more about Operation Beautiful or how you can help, please contact me at Colleen@metrokidzbaltimore.org.

This morning on my walk, I saw him swigging from his Vodka bottle and went to talk to him, he told me he was hungry, I went to corner store and got him a breakfast sandwich and some water, I sat with him and he shared with me intimate pieces of his life, about how he doesn’t want to be here but he just doesn’t know how to get out. It’s something I hear all the time, when I asked him what HE was doing to change his circumstances, he looked at me and tears welled up in his eyes, he said, “Ma’am, I don’t even know where to begin to get myself out of this mess…” I looked at him and wished I didn’t have to go to work this morning, so I could stay there and tell him the first thing he should do is let Christ become a part of his life, and take control. I did get to share some bible verses with him and pray with him before I left.

You can pray for this block, for life of the many churches on the block to come out and do something within their community, so many of them aren’t even open on Sundays, let alone any other day of the week. I pray for the people I met this week to feel God’s Loving Hands upon their lives.